Scary Spies

I was flipping a copy of the Straits Times the other day when I came across a very interesting story.

That our mobile phones are spying on us.

I snapped a photo of the headline and posted in the "Just the Boys" WhatsApp group chat.

"!!!!!!!" came Stanley's reply instantly.

"?????" was Carl the dense one's response, some 13 minutes later.

"I HAVE NO IDEA THIS CAN HAPPEN!" Stanley typed with emotion.

"What's happening?!?!? Someone tell me please?" begged Carl, who had recently confessed to us that he genuinely thought Batam was part of Malaysia.

The writer of the story had compiled anecdotes of people who swear that their mobile phones are spying on them.

Like, they'd be having a conversation about, say, pets.

And the very next instance, ads of dog food, pet grooming appear in their social media feeds.

The writer also quoted tech experts who say that it's highly plausible that the microphone function of our phones can decode language and interpret that into advertising dollars for firms.

The big tech boys though, categorically deny that.

That night, our big gay boy set out to do his own probing.

"I kept saying big cocks, big cocks, big cocks at random times of the day," Stanley wrote in our group chat.

"I even whispered big cocks into my phone at the office pantry, just as Betty the clerk walked in, stopped in her tracks and then made a rapid U-turn back to her desk.

"But nothing turned up on my phone," he continued, his text message oozing disappointment.

Carl too was determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Can someone finally tell me what's going on here please?"

The thought of our phones spying on us is a very creepy yet creative concept.

"Imagine the possibilities.... it can be so exciting," Stanley quipped.

According to my sex bunny friend, this opens up a whole new world of fun while solving social problems.

He imagined exhibitionists to start placing their phones at a certain angle while they went about doing their daily stuff at home in full nudity.

This could actually curb sex crimes, reasoned Stanley, Human Behavioural Specialist.

The next few days, I thought about how technology is creeping into our lives and whether it really is as creepy as activists make it out to be.

And in today's day and age, what does privacy really mean to us?

In our early years, technology was a friend to young gay boys like us, because it gave us platforms like IRC and later, gay forums where we could socialise behind our desks, in the comfort of our bedroom.

For Stanley who prefers socialising in another part of his bedroom, tech was constantly at his fingertips.

He was at the forefront of it all.

From first tapping profiles of hot bods on Grindr circa 2000s to swiping right on Tinder more recently, Stanley had for once made more decent use of his right hand than ever before.

For some of us, stalking cuties on social media has become a part of life.

Stanley used to do just that to all his potential dates (not sex partners - he doesn't even bother getting to know their full names most times).

I once asked if that would spoil any surprises during their date, to which, Stanley said it's stupid to go in cold.

If you go in cold, it will hurt. Better to be adequately lubed and prepared, he would say.

Besides, when you buy a book, or watch a movie, don't you check out the synopsis and reviews before you commit?

And in today's context, there is so much fake news, Stanley said later.

If I can't totally believe what I read on what seems to be posted by fake news agencies, how can I believe what I see on a normal person's social media feed?

If he says he has a big cock, then onus is on me to scroll through all his photos, enlarge and study them with caution, Stanley argued.

Technically, Stanley is not wrong.

We are simply moving with time and making use of technology.

Gone are the days of matchmaking and blind dates.

These days, the norm is to pre-stalk all potential dates just because technology allows us to do that.

This is perhaps why we subconsciously post, edit, re-edit what we write on social media, apply filters studiously on photos before we publish anything online.

Because one part of us knows that we will be stalked, read, viewed and talked about in good or bad ways.

And while technology empowers us with unprecedented convenience among other things, it's only fair that it takes something away from us in return.

Like, you know, Rumplestiltskin makes your wish come true and then takes away your first born.

Or, as Stanley added, how the evil lesbian paedophile of a witch lets you eat her garden lettuce and then asks for your baby girl in return so that she can isolate that sweet young thing in a castle and slowly groom her for her own use.

"So I don't see why we should be so upset or shocked that we're being stalked," Stanley concluded in the group chat.

Carl was seen typing... but then he went silent in the end.

The poor boy has a lot to deal with and intellectual discussion is really beyond his reach no matter how big his biceps are.

"I say, go with the tech flow," Stanley wrote.

At last check, Stanley said he had been walking around fully nude in his attic room and was still shouting "big cock, big cock, big cock" into his iPhone.



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Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people