Secret Recipe

The secret to a man's heart is through his stomach.

We've all heard this evergreen line about how a lovely homecooked meal can make your man fall in love with you.

Cooking for your loved ones can bring happiness.

Since my return to Singapore recently, I have had way too many gatherings.

I also began jotting down family recipes so that I can recreate them myself.

And as I compile those recipes, I unwittingly went on a journey of rediscovery of what those dishes meant to me, why I had fallen in love with them, and how I hope can be passed down and shared with my loved ones.

Here are some.

Stewed mushroom and chicken feet

• Soak mushrooms overnight till they're soft
• Stir fry soaked mushrooms the next day (do this till you smell the fragrance of mushrooms) 
• Transfer mushrooms into large pot, fill it up with water 
• Add dried mussels, whole garlic cloves, ginger slices to pot of boiling water 
• Add oyster sauce, soy sauce, sugar to pot of water to taste
• Boil pot over three days on small fire (turn off stove when sleeping, repeat process next day)
• On third day, prepare chicken feet
• Deep fry chicken feet, then soak in cold water until their skin expands
• Put in chicken feet to big pot and boil for next two hours
  

Memory behind dish:

This has been a traditional dish for my family every Chinese New Year (read it here). It's also sort of a thankless dish I had learnt to appreciate because nobody bothered asking my mum just how tedious it is to make it, and we expect it to be served annually. One year, my mum added sea cucumber to the mix, not realising that it made it very bitter. My siblings and I exchanged glances nervously and stifled our collective giggles although our mum pretended she didn't see us. Since then, the sea cucumber (which never made a comeback to the dish) became a yearly CNY joke among us.

Sweet and sour pork 

• Loosen pork pieces with back of chopper (buy pork shoulder)
• Marinate pork pieces with soy sauce, pepper - keep overnight 
• Beat egg, pour over marinated meat
• Coat pork pieces with corn powder before deep frying them till golden brown
• For sauce, add sliced onion, fresh pineapples, tomatoes to ketchup - fry till it boils
• Add sugar to taste 

Memory behind dish:

This is apparently a recipe passed down by my grandmother - and one which is mastered to perfection by my aunt. My brother Barry loves this dish and without fail, every time we go to our aunt's place for dinner, he would ask for this dish. It became very apparent that I miss my brother while he was away in the UK for his studies because every time we ate at our aunt's place, I would snap a photo of the dish for him. 

Dow Gok Lap (literally French bean pieces in Cantonese)

• Chop up dried bean curd, French beans, char siew, pickled vegetables, peanuts, lap cheong
• Stir fry each item individually in wok 
• Once done, put all items in wok for a final stir fry, add salt to taste

Memory behind dish:

This is my sister's favourite dish and apparently a traditional recipe that's common in Cantonese households. I remember my grandmother's version: Her dow gok lap pieces were huge and very crunchy. Back then, all of us - the families of my married uncles, aunties and my own family - had lived together in two double-storey shophouses along Ann Siang Hill so meal times were very noisy affairs. The adults would gather and talk very loudly (my partner J keeps insisting Cantonese people are very loud) and the kids would be free to run around the backyard behind granny's kitchen, while waiting to eat.

Steamed pork with 'dong choy'

• Mince half lean, half fat pork 
• Add in dong choy (preserved mustard greens)
• Add soy sauce, corn starch, sesame oil, mix them till moist (add water so that meat is soft)
• Steam dish for 10 minutes over big fire

Memory behind dish:

This is my favourite Cantonese food. as a kid. When I was in primary school, I was in the swim team - which meant two training sessions a week. Because I was in the morning session, I would often rush to my aunt's home to have a quick lunch before training. My aunt would whip up this dish because it's easy to make, and as I realised, very yummy too. Mixed with rice, the salty, tangy flavour made for a quick gobble-up meal. To this day, when I hit the swimming pool, I would think of this pre-swim meal. 

Ayam masak merah (red paste chicken)

• Fry ground onion, tomato paste, chili powder till brown 
• Add chicken pieces to wok
• Add fresh tomatoes 
• Add sugar to taste

Memory behind dish:

This is the simplest dish that I can master, imparted to me by my godma, who is a family friend. My Eurasian godma is a great cook - but her dishes are all so complicated to make (her other god child learnt to make 'feng', a Eurasian curry that's made up of chopped liver). I had grown up eating and laughing in my godparents' cosy home as a child during school holidays. I remember drinking hot milo before bed (made by my godpa), and waking up to a sandwich breakfast made with toasted French loaf, an omelette, stir fried onions with fresh ketchup (made by my godpa). He would make that sandwich before Sunday mass. By lunch, we would be back for a simple meal, and ayam masak merah with steaming hot rice was one of those. 

Nonya chap chye

• Soak tau hu kee (dried bean curd strips), kim chiam (dried lily buds - tie them in knots), mushrooms, glass noodles, black fungus 
• Fry garlic till brown, put in tau hu kee, add oyster sauce 
• Put in kim chiam, mushroom, cabbage, black fungus
• Add in glass noodles 
• Add water and salt to taste

Memory behind dish:

This is the recipe of my partner J's mum, who is a typical Peranakan bibik who is talented in cooking. Though she also makes very good babi pongteh and ayam buah keluark, I remember distinctly her chap chye dish because this was the very first thing I ate when I first met her in 2003. It was J and my first Chinese New Year as a couple, and he had just bought his own place back then with his savings. So that year, it was CNY and housewarming in one. His mum had flown in to Singapore for the occasion and hosted J's friends by cooking up a Peranakan feast. Today, I'm no longer the shy partner of J. For every gathering among J's immediate or extended family, I would be included. And if J's mum makes this chap chye for me, I would always have third and fourth helpings. 

There are, of course, many other recipes I'd collected - some from friends, some from friends' helpers - but these are some of my favourite ones.

As I type this entry, I am cross-checking all the Chinese terms with Nisa, who is an encyclopaedia of food glossary as well as one of Singapore's few trusted translators. 

I had been urging her to master more of her mum's cooking, after tasting Nisa's ayam buah keluark, which she cooked for my farewell party before I was posted overseas.

When I shared my thoughts with Stanley my sex bunny friend, he scoffed.

"The way to a man's heart is not through the stomach, my dear," he said.

"It's through another part of the body. Trust me - I've been there, done that."

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Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people