Not too long ago, I learnt the new word Guncle and so I figured there also must be such a thing as Gaunty too.
A gay acquaintance of mine recently posted on IG to say he had been promoted to a Guncle after his sister gave birth to a beautiful boy.
A quick google search confirmed that Guncle is new age slang for a gay uncle.
There's even a Guncle's Day which apparently is observed in US on the second Sunday of August.
Stanley my sex bunny friend rolled his eyes and shook his head rapidly.
I couldn't tell if he was convulsing because of the ridiculous idea of a Guncle's Day -- or the fact that there's even such a thing as Guncle -- or because he was working up to a climax.
So I waited patiently.
Carl the dense one who is always in a state of cluelessness also waited patiently for the final revelation.
A grand total of 30 seconds later, Stanley finally said: "What the heck is this Guncle and Gaunty shit?"
What exactly is the point of defining a gay uncle, Stanley wanted to know.
Carl the dense one who is always in a state of cluelessness also wanted to know.
Every waking moment is a learning opportunity for Carl.
Later, I got to thinking about why people would first of all buy the idea of being a Guncle.
I mean, what is the role of a Guncle?
Is it different to a straight uncle who has a swollen belly and receding hairline and who happens to love to squeeze tits at every opportunity?
Are gay uncles more fun?
And God forbid, can gay uncles be too fun for the comfort of our morals and laws?
What's with all this labelling, I thought.
So I went straight to the source and messaged Derrick, newly promoted Guncle.
In his words:
"It's not about using a gay stamp and approving certain roles. There's no difference to a gay or straight uncle. We are still going to be doting nevertheless.
But what's important to me is that labelling myself as a Guncle is a significant step to show that my family recognises me for who I am.
It's also to celebrate that my sister and brother-in-law fully embrace me. They're going to teach my nephew the word Guncle and cultivate in him from young, a sense of acceptance so that he grows up not seeing sexuality with the very same biases that our older generation has."
I pasted Derrick's answer in our group chat titled "Just the Boys".
Stanley responded first.
"Ooooo," Stanley wrote.
Carl didn't react. He's probably still digesting the whole chunk of high-level words.
"Is this Derrick friend of yours cute? He sounds like one of those smart activist who would burn his bra to make a point. Such men are sexy!" Stanley wrote, digesting the hunk and his chunk of words.
"Wait. Which one is your friend? Derrick or Guncle?" Carl finally wrote.
For the next two days, I thought about Guncle Derrick's thoughts.
He does have a point. After all, if his family decides to raise a boy and teach him to love his Guncle regardless of his sexual preference, that's a good thing.
But I do wonder if this gay-stamping would catch on.
I mean, what if it does?
Suddenly, there'll be Ghairdressers, Glawyers, Geachers and Goctors.
Would these labelling be healthy?
Yes, for sure, these labels would force people to pause and rethink the significance of a person's role in life in relation to his sexuality.
The ideal outcome is for everyone to realise that at the end of the day, a straight hairdresser wouldn't be less creative than a gay one, and a straight lawyer wouldn't be less bitch than a gay one.
But in the meantime, would forced labelling of roles -- such as Guncles -- do any good at the end of the day?
I ask the boys again for their thoughts.
Do you think we'll go down a slippery slope of casting unnecessary attention on someone's role based on his sexuality such that at the end of the day, it forces people to focus on the gay in that role rather than to separate the gay in the role?
This time, Carl replied immediately: A sticker of a heavily mustached man giving a thumbs up.
Stanley replied next: A skinny woman giving the finger.
"It's 2am in Singapore, Adam. Please don't be a creepy overthinker," Stanley wrote.
"Don't go down a slippery slope -- unless that slippery slope is the oily contours of a sexy Guncle".
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