This Chinese New Year, the most dreaded question of When Are You Getting Married shall be fielded by my sister, 46-year-old Ms Lee.
She had brought it upon herself.
And right now, it is being brought closer and closer.
The Eagle has landed, my cheeky brother Barry spoke into his wrist.
The younger Lee is a huge fan of Hong Kong cop movies and right now, he's playing out a scene that is known only in his mind.
"All units, standby. The Eagle has landed."
On cue, the matron of the house Mrs Lee stands up, straightens her yellow cheongsam and casually strides over to me and whispers, "how long you think this time?"
"Happy New Year mummy," my sister says as cheerfully as she can humanly manage at our doorstep, her eyes crinkling into slits above her mask.
"This is Eric. Dear, this is my family."
Mrs Lee immediately heaves a big sigh of relieve and before Eric could remove his shoes and take out the Mandarin oranges from his mini red paper bag, our mum took Eric by his wrist and dragged him into the house.
Younger brother is equally, if not, more relieved. He started clapping, patted Eric on his shoulder, and skipped to the kitchen, before returning with a tray of Tiger Beer and Bak Kwa.
You see, my sis has always been very secretive about her love life and even though we both are super close, she had only recently revealed she'd been dating.
She told me about her "partner" only four months prior to Chinese New Year.
To be fair, my sis has always been dating around and her relationships had never been long enough to last for two back-to-back Chinese New Years.
Over the years, she's become more careful and selective with revealing information about her boyfriends.
So about a week before Day One of Chinese New Year, my sis dropped the bombshell during a pre-CNY lunch at Asia Grand that she's bringing someone over.
My mum kicked me under the table urgently while remaining as calm as a seasoned mahjong player dealt with a good hand.
She picked up a dim sum morsel, gently dipped it into the chilli sauce while her sandal continuously poked violently at my shin under the red table cloth.
I felt like I had to do something.
"Ouch," I enunciated so that the word came out as a warning
Mrs Lee turned very slowly at my direction and looked at me with extreme serenity. "Yes, son?"
I backed down and shoved a Siew Mai in my mouth.
During lunch, my sis shared only that much her partner and the key pieces of info were that he's an elite fire fighter, he has good built and rides a bike.
Mrs Lee later said to me "habis lah, your sister dating Melyau."
But right now, Eric is far from Melayu -- after he paid CNY greetings to my mum (in perfect Mandarin, mind you), younger brother Barry thrust a can of beer in his hand, to which Eric obliged and the two found companionship and bonded over two tin cans.
My sister found me in the kitchen and asked me "how? What do you think?"
To be honest, Eric looks like a great catch.
Polite, simple, honest, and most importantly passionately altruistic.
And of course, Eric is younger.
My sis has never dated anyone her age firstly because anyone her age would either be married, divorced or gay -- or weird. Secondly, my sis, though all of 46 years old, can pass off as a 30 year old spinster.
"Bachelorette," she corrects me on the spot.
And so when she puts herself out there in the dating market, younger guys like Eric would naturally swipe right on her.
"I love that guy," Barry says as he bends down to fetch two more cans of beer. "He's telling me a lot of exciting stories about fire fighting work!"
My sis smiles, knowing that whomever she brings home to meet the family during CNY would be warmly embraced.
We had always been supportive of one another and had each other's back.
When I first brought my partner J to meet the Lees some 20 years ago, my sis and brother had been pillars to me.
They made sure J felt accepted and they kept engaging J so that he would feel welcomed in the family.
Now, it's our turn.
Though Sis always brings different guys back for CNY over the years, she can always count on Barry and me to make her partner feel welcomed and loved.
Just then, my mum came into to scoop Longan dessert from the stove.
She stared in my direction and when Sis wasn't looking, Mrs Lee mouthed the words "how long?"
To quell Mrs Lee's innate kaypoh aunty personna, I did what my sex bunny friend Stanley would do.
"I think he's a good 7 inches, if you ask me."
Mrs Lee choked on her saliva and kicked me in the shin.
Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people
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