"Everyone and his grandmother are getting it, except me," Stanley said as he set a huge, transparent bowl of tossed salad on his dining table.
I couldn't tell from his tone if he was extremely proud of not getting it, or extremely left out for not getting it.
Also not getting it is our dense friend Carl who had just finished chewing at his sixth fingernail and had paused to get with the programme.
"What are we talking about?" he asked with a hopeful grin on his face, ever optimistic that there'll always be that one kind soul in his life who'd help point him in the right direction when he's lost in a shopping centre.
Stanley looked at Carl and asked "where have all the nails you'd been biting off gone to?"
Carl beamed even brighter as if an adult had just praised him for brushing his teeth at night.
Stanley backed away slowly and returned to his open-concept kitchen to fetch that afternoon's main meal of aglio olio.
Stanley started with a dramatic sigh as we picked up our fork and got ready to dig in.
"I really don't get it," Stanley said.
Carl shook his head on cue. "Yeah Stan. You me both," he said with meaning.
"I mean, everyone we know is getting COVID... it must really either mean we're extremely careful and blessed or simply that we don't have enough friends to mingle with!"
Carl's eyes lit up. "Oh, so that's what it is!"
Stanley and I gave him a side glance and waited. "It's anchovies. No wonder it tastes so familiar," concluded Carl who is in his own world.
Back in our real world, Stanley and I are facing real issues.
My sister, my partner J's parents and his brother are down with COVID.
Stanley's aunty and two of his friends are down with COVID.
A sizeable portion of the Singapore population are all getting COVID, Stanley says, and this shit is real 'cos now your loved ones have it, according to Stanley.
Indeed, it's worrying and not worrying at the same time.
While we know that vaccinations can offer extra layers of protection, your loved ones' health are at stake here.
I first got wind of my sister's condition two weeks ago.
She casually texted me her positive results.
My sister, who recently got attached, still lives alone in her huge, gorgeous apartment designed for magazine covers. She now has to make sure it's also designed for quarantines.
I don't worry very much for her because she is a health nut and takes very good care of her body.
The only concern is whether she'd be eating well because she's complained of extreme fatigue and loss of appetite.
"It's too painful to swallow 'cos of her extremely sore throat," I explained to Stanley and Carl who nodded approvingly at his aglio olio.
To his credit, Stanley didn't take the bait to turn that into a sex joke.
Because COVID is no joke.
Granted, it's not as serious now, but you still can't help but worry.
My sis had been too tired to talk on the phone and even texting, she says, is taxing.
She didn't eat in her first few days of home treatment but on the fourth day, she managed to whip up an Instagram-worthy plate of aglio olio.
I can only imagine how much tougher it is for the older folks.
J's parents are both retired civil servants who should be enjoying their fruits of their labour by travelling the world, and visiting J's siblings and cousins scattered all over the world.
Instead, they're now holed up in their homes spitting phlegm every 10 minutes.
The last time I spoke to J's mum she sounded like she had swallowed enough nails to puncture her voice box.
But two years into this pandemic, the world has come to slowly adjust itself and move on.
Globally, some borders are reopening. Domestically, some rules are changing. All this, in step with adapting and progressing.
As we polished off our plates at Stanley's that afternoon, we concluded that as long as we're vaccinated, getting COVID should be seen as just another flu episode.
"Nothing to worry about as long as precautions are taken," Stanley said wisely.
Carl nodded peacefully on Stanley's couch.
Here's wishing everyone a speedy recovery -- or future speedy recovery -- from COVID.
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