"What do you hear, quick!" Stanley demanded in our group chat.
"Is it safe for work?" I ask, given the track record of Stanley my sex bunny friend.
"Very safe -- in fact, click on the link, put it on loud speaker and tell me what people around you are hearing!"
Carl our dense friend was first to reply.
"Yenni".
"Fuck," Stanley said.
"What about you, Adam?"
"Yenni."
"Fuck," Stanley said again.
The audio activity, which is finding its rounds again online, is apparently a test to see how young a person is.
There's this voice recording that would produce different sounds to the young and old
If you're young, you'd hear Yenni. And if you're older, you'd pick up a different frequency of sound wave, making you hear "Laurel" instead.
"What about you Stan?"
"I heard Yenni too," he said, sounding less happy than he should.
"But now that both you old bitches are also hearing Yenni, I'm beginning to doubt the authenticity of this test," Stanley said.
For the sake of experiment, I posted the clip in my other group chats.
Nisa my best girl friend heard "Laurel".
Terry my best straight friend, interestingly, hears both.
"Describe to me what you hear," I ask Terry.
"I hear a mix of both Yenni and Laurel," Terry said simply.
I shared the results of the social experiment with Stanley who is fascinated.
"Firstly, Nisa, who can pass off as a chubby primary six boy if she wears a cap and binds her enormous boobs, cannot be that old," Stanley said.
"And Terry! He hears both! You know what that means?"
To our surprise, Carl volunteered to answer.
"It means that if he were in the world of Netflix, he would be a hero," said our dense friend Carl who recently discovered Netflix.
"In Netflix, Sabrina is half-human, half-witch," Carl explained. "And in Castlevania the cartoon, Alucard is half-human, half vampire. And in RuPaul's drag race, they're all half man, half woman. This means that Terry, who is half-half can also be a hero!"
Stanley later told me that if only Carl applied himself well in real life, he could have turned out less dense.
But Carl is doing his level best.
He's applying himself well alright. From SKII and night and day creams, to all sorts of facial masques and serums, he's been applying them all on himself.
To Carl, fighting ageing is as important a battle as fighting diabetes or cancer.
Most of Carl's adult life had been dedicated to prolonging his youth.
Stanley used to say that if Carl were born in another era and had power, he'd be the one who's always prowling for the elixir of youth.
"And if I were born in a different era and had power, I too would be on the prowl for youths," Stanley said, unable to help himself.
The discussion of ageing, the concern about ageing never gets old in my group.
And the topic stirred to life recently when Stanley went to buy alcohol at a nearby shop.
Our friend had worn a face mask, and given that Stanley is lean and has short cropped hair, he did come across as a young boy.
He was most delighted when the aunty asked him "hey, you look like poly student. You sure you can buy wine ah?"
Stanley let out a hearty laughter and if not for the fear of spreading COVID, Stanley would have hugged the aunty tightly there and then.
My sex bunny friend later posted a photo of himself and demanded that we agreed he looked underage.
It got me thinking.
The only way to get someone to mistake me as a youth would be for me to don a face mask -- the type superheroes would wear to cover up all their facial features.
Already, as a youth, my face is riddled with pock marks.
As I aged, Time had mercilessly sketched out crow's feet from the corner of my eyes.
My eyelids are also starting to sag, the way my man boobs, buttocks and every part of my once-firm body is heading.
On some days when I do examine photos of myself, I see just how much I've aged.
And to my utter surprise, I feel numb.
"I know how that feels," Stanley said comfortingly.
"On some nights, I feel numb too -- and I start to worry. Where's my gag reflex?"
But unlike Carl, Stanley and I are able to embrace ageing.
I used to tell Carl and Stanley about this very old man in my estate.
He's a very flamboyant old man. Around 70, has a head full of black hair, very well spoken, very wealthy and his staple wardrobe pieces are super tight singlets with ultra short shorts. And mind you, this lao gay is in shape -- lean and fit.
And because we live in the same estate, we've become friends, although to be frank, I'm kinda creeped out by him because he does come across as being on the prowl.
But this old man is a prime example of how we can all age well, no matter how creepy he is, I say to the boys.
Leave it to Stanley to spoil it for me.
"Adam, don't you think that this old man sounds like your future self?"
"I mean, think about it -- this old man does sound like your current self... what if he were indeed your future self who's come back to warn you about something and you keep avoiding him 'cos you're creeped out by how scary you are!"
"It makes sense you know," says Stanley who continues to join the dots for me.
"Because he is you, he would know where to find you... which explains why you keep bumping into the old you!"
"If only you weren't creeped out by yourself.... you'd know a lot of things from your future..."
---------------------------
Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people
No comments:
Post a Comment