In the last decade or so, I made several life-changing decisions.
At 30, I emptied my savings to buy my first-ever apartment which I fashioned into a bachelor pad.
Yes. I may have been partnered since 2002, but my first-ever home was designed for one.
It was a large one-bedder that could host rowdy parties for dozens but accommodate no stayovers.
Except for my partner J (who stayed over only when absolutely necessary -- such as when we celebrated anniversary dinners or had to host common friends).
Truth be told, J disliked my apartment -- and we were both fine with that. He thought it “cold” and “impractical”.
By 30, my very capable partner J already owned two properties.
"Buy what you like and do what you deem fit to it," J would say. "Enjoy your first apartment."
And boy, did I go all out.
I chose a decor which I loved but J disliked: The cliche industrial look, filled with cement screed flooring, cement screed feature wall, exposed bricks in some corners of the home, and, of course, track lights and wooden furnishing you can find in all pretentious cafes.
You get that idea.
Then, nearly a decade after I first bought that 'bachelor pad' -- I was nearly bankrupt when home interest rates spiked to nearly 4 per cent -- and I decided to cut my losses short and sell my most prized asset.
I rented for nearly two years before deciding to finally settle for a resale HDB flat.
This time though, my second purchase is decidedly not to be a bachelor pad.
It would be, of course, bought with my money. But while legally it's my flat, it would be my partner J and my home.
Since I was allowed to be 'selfish and indulgent' with my first home purchase, I thought I'd be a little forward-looking and inclusive this time round.
And so even before the house-hunting process, I decided to be an adult and discuss it with J.
When we were both in our mid-20s, we had talked about eventually moving in together. Back then, neither of us expected J to eventually own two properties and for me to have and then sell one.
But we both knew we wanted to live together in our golden years.
Since one of J's properties is too big for us (and is yielding good rental income for him), we decided to leave that unit as that. A rent-churning pot of gold.
J's current place, which has more than enough rooms for two of us and two kids if I were to get pregnant one day, is nice, but, truth be told, isn't my style.
I once told J that if I were to move in to his current space, I'd feel like I'd be intruding into his space and his style -- exactly the same way he would feel were he to move in to my first 'bachelor pad'.
The right thing to do, therefore, was to buy this flat with both J and me in mind.
So right off the start, my house-hunting was specific: There needs to be two toilets (J is extremely forward-looking and he reminded me that when we're old and our bladders are weak, we will need a toilet each).
The location of the flat was also key -- they'd have to be near MRT stations (we won't have cars when we're old and retired) as well as a range of amenities (which isn't hard to achieve given Singapore is relatively convenient).
Eventually, we did find something we both loved.
We fell head over heels for our current unit which is located in town.
That day, when I collected the keys to our place, I felt what I didn't feel when I bought my first apartment: Anticipation.
Because this time, when the home is eventually ready, it's decidedly a home meant for two.
J and me.
Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people
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