Recipe For Love

Growing up, my household was always filled with food.

Meal times were grand and extremely rowdy because the matrons of my extended family would come together and make a big deal of dinner.

Our families dominated three out of seven houses in a row: My granny, my aunts and uncles, and my family.

And so by late afternoon, the women would gather at my granny's kitchen, chopping, slicing, pounding. 

Dinners were always filled with heaps of food. And always an event that brought all of us together. 

Naturally, I grew up knowing the importance of food and how it bonds people.

Yet, I didn't learn to cook until absolutely necessary.

In university, I was sent overseas but my first year was all sheltered and pampered: I lived in a hostel known for, among other things, its good food.

I subsequently moved out of the hostel after my first year. 

Mealtimes were tough. 

On days when I didn't eat out, I would compile food -- potato chips pasta. Eating beans out of a can. Whatever I have in the fridge, I made do.

Fast forward to today, I'm like that too. Whatever I have in the fridge, I make do too, but in an extremely culinary fashion.

Over the years, I'd learned to cook -- and cook well.

I moved out at 30 and having my own place meant I needed to learn how to take care of myself.

So it started with simple tips like how to cook vegetables.

My hopeless mum -- who spent all her life climbing the corporate ladder -- had no future in the kitchen. So she imparted zero cooking skills.

I first learned how to stir-fry vegetables from my partner J's mum.

"All you need is oil and nothing else," she said. "You don't even need salt or sauce," she said, stirring the wokful of Chye Sim.

That was my first recipe, I kid you not.

I then began learning to stir-fry meat. From tips and tricks of marination and portioning to the art of using corn flour to thicken meat sauces.

The simple meals I cooked for myself made me feel so accomplished that I felt I could do more.

That's when I actively started collecting family recipes.

My aunt's food is the best.

Her signature dishes include braised mushroom and chicken feet (a recipe that requires you three days' work), sweet and sour pork, and a Cantonese staple known as Tau Gork Lap (which is simply a mix of diced ingredients like long beans, lap cheong, char siew, peanuts, deep fried beancurd and radish). 

From my god-ma, I learnt how to make ayam masak merah (red paste chicken) and bergadil (potato cutlet).

Of course, J's mum also imparted many of her recipes to me -- Indonesian sayur lodeh, rendang and Nonya chap Chye among those.

Today, I have an impressive collection of family recipes which I would dish out on special occasions. 

I was telling J that one day, when all our loved ones are no longer around, I hope to whip up these familiar meals so that we can keep those memories going strong.

This is my recipe for love.

What's yours, dear reader?

---------------------------

Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people