Sometimes, in our group which comprises Stanley the sex bunny and Carl the dense one, we take meet ups very seriously.
And today was one of those serious occasions.
After we learned Carl was attached, Stanley insisted we all got together and met Adrian, his new beau.
And it was Stanley's way or the highway.
Or in this case, the causeway.
"Good thing I brought snacks and water," Carl the dense one said merrily.
"Why didn't you bring diapers," Stanley said with a hiss, grabbing his steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white.
"Never mind him, Adrian," I said, turning to the back seat. "Stanley's down south is always buzzing with activity."
Adrian let out a huge guffaw, entertained by this group of uncle's antics.
Prior to today's meeting, Carl -- to his credit -- had prepared his new love interest to face Stanley, warning him our sex bunny friend might appear too much on the surface but is really a wonderful friend deep down.
Stanley would later say he was a lot more things than just wonderful deep down.
"Sorry, Adrian. I didn't mean to scare you," Stanley said into his rear view mirror. "But if I don't pee in the next 10 minutes, everyone will have to sit with their feet off my car carpet because I guarantee you I WILL wet my pants," he said with a menacing threat.
"Oh, trust him. At his age, he will do anything to get wet," Carl the dense one said, to his credit.
Everyone laughed except Stanley.
Friday evening traffic jam was no joke.
While hundreds of Singapore-regjstered cars were making a beeline for the customs, all Stanley wanted to do was to make a peeline for the toilet. And to actually pee and nothing else, given Stanley’s history
It was Stanley's bright idea to go on a weekend JB trip and to get to know Adrain better.
It was the perfect getaway: Two nights at a hotel at St Giles with cheap foot massages, drinks, shopping all at value-for-money prices, thanks to Malaysia's weak ringgit.
Except, right now, it wasn't so perfect and all that was weak was Stanley's bladder and willpower.
Finally, after three-and-a-half hours of this unbearable wait, Stanley parked his car right after the Singapore customs to get some release.
"I've always thought of urinals as a place of comfort and relief as a younger man," Stanley said. "I suspect this thought is going to stay with me as an older man."
With less distraction down there, Stanley was back to his pre-pandemic state of mind and could finally steer us in the right direction, where drinks and dinner were in order.
It was slightly past-8pm when we checked into the hotel near mid-Valley but tour guide Stanley gave us strict instructions.
"Cocktails, rooftop bar, 15 minutes' time!" he barked along the corridor of our hotel floor at Carl and Adrian.
"Anything with the words cock and top excite me to no end," Stanley concluded.
To Be Continued...
Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people
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