My sex bunny friend Stanley never fails to amuse me.
Last week, he started going to church after a hiatus.
I had to clarify his intentions.
You can't blame me.
Stanley had once confessed to me that as a child, he was fascinated with Jesus Christ.
"I was in awe," Stanley said meekly. "I was taken by how lean his body was."
Stanley was then 5 years old.
"I'm offended by your doubt in my faith!" Stanley responded to my official query on his church-going activity.
It was one of those rare days when Stanley, Carl the dense one, my partner of more than 20 years J and I are gathered for Friday dinner.
Stanley looked to J, a fellow Catholic, for support.
J turned to me and announced "we should all be supportive of Stanley's newfound direction in spiritual life".
"You make him sound like he's dead," I said.
Turns out, Stanley's renewed faith was prompted by Pope Francis' visit to Singapore. But it was also by a personal development in his life (a story I'll share next week).
While he wasn't an old faithful, Stanley tried his luck months ago by balloting for a seat at the Holy Mass that'd be conducted by the pope when he's here.
He got it.
"Wow," I said. "Do you think this is a sign? That you got this lucky at your first attempt?" I ask Stanley who has been dipping in and out of his Catholicism faith.
"Wow!" Carl the dense one said. "Who is the pope, why is he coming, and where are you going?"
All his life, Stanley had been very un-Catholic.
His interpretation of a mass is one that's held in places other than a church -- and it usually involves a lot of hot, sweaty male bodies.
He's also always on his knees and his fours, but they're for activities other than praying.
And Stanley usually prefers hot daddies to the Holy Father.
Stanley had once famously proclaimed at a drunken party -- complete with lewd hand and mouth gestures -- that he was so Catholic that he's also known as the Perpetual Succor.
So you really, really can't cast the first stone at me and blame me for judging him.
But Stanley has his serious side, and I know he's being very serious right now.
As his gay best friend, my duties are to be supportive of his beliefs and actions.
"Sorry, can someone please tell me what on earth is happening?" Carl the dense one demanded. "Stanley, when were you ever Catholic?"
Stanley looked at Carl in disbelief, then said as sagely as he could.
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
Carl waited.
"But not all men are created equally," Stanley added, looking pitifully at Carl who still has no idea what's happening, nor what the topic of the evening was.
Carl was about to say something, then something caught his attention. He dogged from a flying insect and said "I think that's a bee. Now I'm craving honey," he said with the enviable bliss of being clueless and worry-free.
"I hope you'll find meaning in your faith and journey, Stan," J said lovingly to Stanley.
"Again, you make it sound like he's dead."
Stanley swatted me aside like I was the flying bee and thanked J who is less annoying to talk to.
That evening was a very special evening.
It was the first time we all managed to sit down for dinner without Stanley raising the topic of sex.
"People can change," Stanley scolded me for making this astute observation.
"I'm cleansing myself ahead of the mass. Ahead of meeting the pope," Stanley said.
I prayed to God there and then, that, first, the mass that Stanley was referring to was an actual congregation of prayer because Stanley's version of a "mass" also involves cleansing, washing and douching.
"Someone should really wash your mouth with soap, Adam," Stanley scolded me again for voicing out my thoughts.
"Luckily you're not attending the Holy Mass," Stanley pointed out. "You will burn in the presence of the pope," he said matter of factly.
"Any priest who touches me and causes me to burn," I said, "would be a concern. But there's always a cream for that."
Stanley, Carl and J looked at me in unison, in collective shock.
And for the first time, to my horror, I outdid Stanley.
Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people
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