The older, more regal one was a white snake.
Poised and elegant.
The younger - and might I add, sluttier one - is in a loud, attention-seeking shade of lime green and who slithers around the magical forest, flirting with all living things that her belly comes in contact with.
Some say the green snake is a direct descendant of a certain serpent who once tempted a man to eat the forbidden fruit.
This green snake though, does not go around tempting.
She goes straight for the man's forbidden fruit.
"That's defamation," Stanley my sex bunny friend dramatically hissed at me back in the modern world.
"There is no truth to this legend!"
Carl however was amused.
Our dense friend leaned in closer, rested his chin on both his fists and grinned like a goon.
"Then, then, then? What happened next?"
Stanley who couldn't bear to be defamed, demeaned but is totally fine with being deflowered in this story, raised both his hands in the air and said "no, that's how the story goes. Let me tell it as it is."
Long, long time ago, there lived a pair of mystical snakes in a forest.
The older one - and girl, we're talking old... the crinkly, wrinkly sort... the soft-like-jelly type of old - is white.
And because that bitch is so old, she's sort of off-white.
Dirty white.
You know, the kind of white where you've cummed on a black hanky and left it there for a few days that it becomes yellow.
That sort of off-white.
Carl shifted uncomfortably at that unexpected piece of information in the story.
"Don't ask me how I know - it's just part of the story," Stanley said dismissively, noticing that Carl had turned pale.
Anyway, that old white snake was so old that nobody in the forest wanted to be her friend, much less sleep with her.
So the younger, chirpier and more outgoing snake - which is a beautiful shade of green, and which also happens to be my favourite colour, Stanley adds, took pity on that old bitch and had to sacrifice herself and sleep around and help that old white snake make friends.
One day, this clever green snake had a brilliant idea.
Since my old spinster sister is such a fat loser, why don't we use our ancient magical powers to transform ourselves into human beings?
Carl lit up at the word magic. He loved magic.
And so, just like that, the older snake took the form of a very fat, very old woman, just because her robust magical powers allowed her to go all out.
So that stupid snake opted for quantity over quality.
The younger green snake, being less of a show off, decided to turn herself into an attractive, 20-year-old maiden who was smooth, pretty and slender.
168 / 55/ single / bottom, Stanley added.
Carl grinned, enthralled by how detailed Stanley was.
"Then, then, then?" he asked Stanley, impatiently rapping his hand to hurry him with the story.
So the pair of human sisters lived quite happily for a while.
The younger green snake would go out for parties because she was pretty and popular while her fat and old sister would keep complaining that she was always tired that she wanted to just sleep her life away.
Carl covered his mouth to stifle a giggle, truly entertained by Stanley.
One day, a very handsome scholar came by the house while the green snake was out partying at Sparks during an afternoon Tea Dance event.
All the handsome scholar wanted to do was to use the latrine because the rainy weather made him want to pee quite badly.
But the scholar ended up falling in love with the old, fat white snake.
Oh, and the handsome scholar was born blind.
Couldn't see a single thing, that poor boy, Stanley said shaking his head with pity.
"That scholar is J!" Carl beamed excitedly, happy to have been able to identify my partner in Stanley's made up story.
Then Carl paused and raised his fingers to count.
Sensing that Carl wanted to be included in the story, Stanley immediately improvised.
Anyway, the two got married and when the green snake came back, she very kindly congratulated her fat, old sister for scoring.
Then the green snake went to the latrine where the scholar had met his eventual old, fat white snake of a wife, and, as a gift, decided to conjure a page boy for the newly weds.
The green snake spotted a mound of suspicious-smelling soil and used it to fashion a human servant for the couple.
Carl stopped grinning there and then and sat up.
Sensing potential trouble, Stanley immediately improvised again.
But, but, but, the house boy was very, very muscular. he has very big arms and could lift many heavy things!
Carl grinned and clapped at the development.
And then the four of them lived happily ever after okay goodbye, Stanley said, ending his story abruptly, finally bored of spinning tales from thin air.
Carl smiled and sipped his tea as he digested the delightful story.
For context, the three of us had been debating a yearly topic: Horoscope.
More specifically, it was a debate about believing such nonsense.
Carl was a firm believer.
But Stanley, who cannot stand fortune telling, chose to spin magical stories that afternoon instead.
To be fair, Stanley's right.
It's ridiculous to believe in Chinese New Year horoscopes that are written by someone who's out to please everyone, and afraid to get things wrong.
"Things will look good for you in the coming year. But beware of things you say about others, which could hurt your career".
Or...
"The coming year could spell a mini disaster for those born in the year of the tiger. Be careful with eating overly spicy food and make sure you watch your health this year".
Erm, duh.
Thank you, Mr Fengshui.
This could have been written by my HR colleague who writes such cryptic but meaningless emails.
And then there are the classic shenanigans who get on Stanley's nerves.
Once, during Chinese New Year, Carl insisted we went to have our fortunes told at a makeshift stall in Chinatown.
Stanley allowed the fortune teller - a woman in her 60s - to read his palm.
The aunty obviously couldn't read between the lines because what she told Stanley made him stand up and walkaway from his seat.
Stanley had asked her if he should change his job that year.
The fortune telling aunty nodded sagely, closed her eyes and looked like she was in such deep pain that the only antidote for her was a toilet bowl.
Then she opened her eyes and gave Stanley an answer which would in later years, be repeated to anyone who dared to talk about having his fortune told.
The aunty said this to Stanely.
"This year would be a good year to change your job. It will bring you steady fortune. But if you don't change your job, you too will see steady fortune."
So this year, although Carl had brought up the subject of discussing our predictions for the coming year (which by the way bodes very well for those born in the year of the Goat), Stanley chose to spin magical tales instead to keep Carl enthralled.
Come to think of it, Stanley said, I think I should set up a stall in Chinatown and have all these superstitious peoples' fortunes read.
But only for selected clients.
I'm so creative that people will be very entertained.
Plus, I'm gonna do this with a different angle - with science.
Instead of reading palms, I'll take certain samples from them and assess them carefully, Stanley says with a wry smile.
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Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people
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