In the social hierarchy of the homosexuals, every gay man has his rightful place.
And I don't just mean sexual positions.
The world of the gays is fascinating.
There is the basic top and bottom roles of gays.
In terms of body types, there are many tribes -- from the wolves and bears to the cubs and pigs.
And if you want to further categorise gays, there are the butch and the effeminates.
There are the twinks and the daddies.
Oh goodness, the permutations are endless.
But one thing to note is that every type of gay man has a purpose in the ecosystem (though the gay version of a bottom feeder in the food chain is very different from what children learn in their science textbooks in school).
Today, I want to zoom in on Himbos.
Not in the way hungry uncles zoom in on this delicious type of gays.
Rather, I plan to deconstruct the Himbo. Okay, wait, that still sounds sexual.
Regardless, the point is, Himbos come with the tag of sex.
The pretty looking ones, the fit looking ones, the sexy ones, but the ones with no brains.
Yet, they are an important role in the grand scheme of things.
Throughout history, Himbos have a long standing tradition of being popular. Sometimes, it's not just long standing but also long squatting, lying, bending, given their sex appeal, but that's besides the point.
In the modern world, we all love a good Himbo.
So pleasing to the eye that it's okay if they have no brains. Just open your legs, not your lips unless it's for a required sex act.
The Himbos are very easy to identify.
Just hijack any gay man's phone and scroll through his IG feeds.
The Himbos can be found in large groups, posing for photos at a hotel room or someone's apartment that usually comes with a variety of alcohol.
Said Himbos are typically dressed in very tight apparel that are struggling to contain their bursting man-bosoms, or if they are wearing actual loose clothing, they are singlets with holes the size of a pail that allows their Popeye biceps room to breathe.
Himbos, when found in solo photos, almost always flash a quasi smile.
You know, it's not a full human smile where you beam merrily and try to show all 32 of your adult teeth.
The Himbo quasi smile is delivered with one's lips closed and is always asymmetrical such that the smile looks crooked.
It's supposed to make the Himbo look cute.
It's also a smile that I sometimes see on elderly patients recovering from stroke.
The Himbo is always popular on IG and also in person.
At social settings, Himbos group together to flex, groom, and preen for all to see.
Very often, they're the centre of attention.
"Look at them. Young, dumb and full of cum," Stanley my sex bunny friend would say with a tinge of envy whenever the Himbos show up at E-bar, our dense friend Carl's favourite bar in the whole wide world.
"If I were their age, I'd surely be able to break into their circle," he would say.
"I'm afraid to ask you for your definition of circle, Stan."
"My God, their arms are so big," Carl would utter in awe, patting his own python-size biceps lovingly as if getting them ready for the local town's Big Pumpkin Competition fair.
It's always interesting to watch the Himbos in social settings -- and how others react to them.
Most of them are quiet knowing that they attract stares. Some of them are loud knowing that they attract stares.
Regardless, they soak up the attention and shine at their best: Their youthful skin, cherubic features, coiffed hair, gym-trained bods.
They're visually pleasing to watch and can be very entertaining to observe.
Until you engage with some of them.
Stanley, who has a vast history of various engagements with all sorts of men, was the principle subject who supplied me info for this blog.
Many a times, these Himbos are confident of themselves to a certain extent.
They're especially confident of themselves in bed -- they're in their element, quasi smile and all.
"If you do sleep with a Himbo," Stanley said, "the right thing to do is to cut your losses. Remember the Himbo for his beauty and leave it there. Don't spoil it with any attempted conversations."
Himbos are the Gay God's gift to gay men.
But when the Gay God made Himbos, they stinged on the brain.
Yet, Himbos are an important part of gay society.
They add colour and visual appeal to the lonely men, the jealous men, the nasty men who have nothing good to say about the Himbos.
The Himbos are also a good source of joke. They always bear the brunt of the intellect shade thrown at them -- and sometimes, they don't even get it.
And because there are Himbos, there is balance between the shallow and deep; the yin and the yang.
The Himbos help cull the unworthy men in the dating ecosystem.
They attract other shallow Himbo chasers such that when they're paired up and leave the room, whomever you see left are those who don't care about looks.
The type who want to know you not because you're good looking.
But not all Himbos are bad.
Once in a while, you get the Himbos who are genuinely nice.
And when you find such Himbos, they're keepers.
And so this blog piece is dedicated to you, Carl, our dense friend.
Happy birthday.
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