Halfway Mark

It is extremely scary to note how time flies. 

As I stood in the tiny balcony of my tiny rented apartment this morning, I realise half of 2024 has officially gone by, leaving mankind with six more months to do what else needs to be done on this earth before we wrapped up the year.

Where had all the time gone by, I wonder to myself. 

Later that afternoon, as I stepped into my sex bunny friend Stanley's car, I repeated my horrific discovery.

Stanley took one quick glance at me and nodded affirmatively. "Yup, time is merciless," he said without compassion.

Our agenda of the day was very clear: Accompany Stanley to make a few suits, then meet Carl for steak. 

Stanley was in one of his cabinet reshuffle phases where every once in a while, he would decide it was time to freshen up his wardrobe pieces. 

Out with the old, in with the new was the sex bunny's mantra when it comes to clothes, which also applies to his sex and dating life. 

We were headed for Peninsula Plaza to meet his all-time favourite tailor, Daniel. 

"Wah bro, still in shape bro," was one of the first things the impeccably dressed tailor said to Stanley. 

Now I know why Stanley keeps going back.

I had gotten to know Stanley's tailor more than 20 years ago. In fact, we all went to him when we started our first jobs, customising office wear and suits for all occasions.

Daniel must be in his sixties but he is one person who must have made a pact with the Devil for him to look the way he looks now: Trim, fit, youthful.

As Daniel got down to showing Stanley fabric choices for suits and shirts, I again brought up the topic of time.

"Yes bro. You are right. It felt like yesterday when we all started 2024 and soon, it'll be National Day then school holiday, then Christmas, then new year!"

"I know right!" I exclaim excitedly, finally happy that someone other than Stanley knew exactly what I was talking about.

"You know that all Daniel did was recite key milestones of the Singapore calendar right? There was no meaningful exchange to be had there," Stanley whispered cruelly in my ear as the tailor stepped away to attend to a Korean family. 

For the next 20 minutes, while Stanley stood still for measurements, I opened my phone calendar, unable to grasp how speedily time flew.

Just what have I done in the last six months? There is not much time left!

To be fair, my obsession with time is the result of ageing.

I remember distinctly, circa the late 80s, that I wished I could quickly grow up so that I could be a teenager myself. 

Watching my sister as a teen made the idea of being a teen cool. 

She was yapping over the house telephone all day, and was always going out with her friends -- something I too wanted to do.

Then when I was in National Service, I kept willing time to speed up so that I could conclude my service to the nation and embark on my exciting next phase of life -- starting a whole new chapter in a university overseas.

Stanley the sex bunny -- whom I met during NS -- was the exact opposite.

"Why want to grow up so fast? This is the best time of my life," he insisted, as he counted his blessings in the bunk over this conversation decades ago. "Where else can you get to see so many fit, naked men and embrace camaraderie amidst the nation's finest and most elite of young men?"

And then came my mid-twenties. 

As a fresh, young exec who got his first taste of what his monthly pay check could do, I had wished to climb up the corporate ladder fast, so that I too can be the one calling the shots and earning a fat pay check.

Fast forward to my mid-forties.

I have it all.

Or almost had it all. 

Apart from my current state of homelessness after selling my first apartment, I do count my blessings.

A well-paying job, a loving partner of more than 20 years, a close group of friends who include both my gay and non-gay friends. And no worries at all about living it up.

Suddenly, all I want is for time to stand still.

To let me enjoy these fruits of labour a little longer.

Wanting to enjoy his fruits a little longer too was Stanley.

At this moment, tailor Daniel was entertaining two members of the Korean family and they turn out to be extremely distracting.

As Daniel was taking measurements of his clients, Stanley too, did his own sizing up.

The cute Oppa daddy was testing Stanley's limits and the cute Oppa daddy's teenage son was testing Stanley's morals -- and legal -- limits. 

"This is one of the mysteries of how Time works -- it has created this perfect equilibrium where the daddy is yummy,  the son is also yummy," he whispered to me, all the while, his eyes not leaving the unsuspecting Koreans.

I ignored Stanley who was, no doubt, busy writing the plot of a sultry Korean drama in his head.

I was racing against time. 

At 45 this year, I am at the halfway mark of my lifetime.

And at the very moment, I am past the halfway mark of my 2024.

I frantically tried to recall what I had done in my last six months and what I would do in the next six when Stanley, who recognised I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, casually sat beside me, placed one hand on my thigh and said, "breathe."

It's moments like that, that I remember why I truly appreciate Stanley by my side.

And then, "Oooo, oh my god, that ass is so tight!" he whispered urgently, gazing at cute Oppa daddy. 

After a day of shopping -- which was filled with intermittent distraction -- and a very filling steak dinner with Carl, Stanley dropped me off at my rented apartment.

Instead of heading upstairs, I lingered around the pool and sat on one of the deck chairs.

The view was therapeutic. 

The stark, blue pool reflected the hazy bright lights of the low-level condo building.

I took a deep breath and began counting my blessings.

In January this year, I reached the halfway mark of my current rental contract. And so far, so good. No problems with the unit, no problems with the landlord.

In February, I was privileged to be given another generous pay rise (along with more work which I loved) so that was definitely something worth celebrating.

In March, I threw myself into work, travelling around the region for work-related meetings. It was exhausting but it was immensely satisfying, especially when I loved my job. 

In April, I took a nice, romantic short holiday with J my partner of than 20 years -- and that, too, is an event worth being thankful for.

In May, we celebrated a very dear aunt's birthday and held a combined Mother's Day dinner with my mum.

And finally in June, we met the new boyfriend of Carl the dense one.

As I counted my blessings that night, I realise I shouldn't fear Time.

For as long as I live, I am very sure I will have many more good months and counting, provided I made that extra effort to make every living day of mine count.

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Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people