Finding Love

These days, I'm enthralled by what Netflix has to offer.

It's become part of the conversation with the boys on WhatsApp.

I personally love rom coms.

Stanley the sex bunny is more adventurous - like his choice in men and sleeping partners, he's wide open and embraces an all-inclusive range from rom coms and thrillers and reality cook shows to, of course, all the gay-themed movies and our all-time favourite Drag Race.

Carl the dense one who's nearly a full-time gym rabbit is also adventurous. He watches Ultimate Beastmaster to see muscles.

"You guys have to watch The Undatetables," Stanley insisted.

For weeks, he's been trying to influence us to watch the reality series that helps singles find love.

The twist: Each of these singles has a disability or condition - Down Syndrome, early stroke, autism, Aspergers, tourette syndrome. And it details their journey in finding love through specialised matchmaking agencies.

Carl the most shallow among us replied with a gif of Snow White retreating dramatically in fear.

Finally, last week, I made a date with The Undateables and I was hooked.

Some characters are so endearing I find myself rooting for them.

It also reminds me of how shallow society is.

The Undatetables helps me see beyond one's looks, disfigurement, physical condition, and focus on what's most important: Inner beauty.

"I will date that cute guy with tourette syndrome," Stanley said to me later, as if we were having a literature class on The Undatetables.

"He is so boyish... plus, he will blend right in when we're having sex after our date, with his random swearing. Say my name, bitch. Fuck you...fuck, fuck, fuck, oh fuck..."

After binge-watching all that The Undatetables had to offer, I got down to thinking about love.

Finding love.

Why is finding love so damn difficult for some of us?

Carl our dense friend wants to find love.

Ever since he broke off with his long-time boyfriend Ah Boy, he hadn't quite been himself.

He's constantly trying to bulk up, look better, look younger so that he can be ready for the brutally harsh and shallow dating market.

Stanley the brutally harsh told me that perhaps it's his brains that need some work, but if that doesn't work out, he can always sign up as a profile with The Undateables and list his condition as retardation.

Carl our dense friend had once met a cute Taiwan boy and told him how he admired that his country is so open with the recent gay marriage ruling and how credit must go to Taiwan's president Xi Jin Ping for allowing that to happen.

Stanley and I were impressed he even knew the name Xi Jin Ping and gave him credit for his name-dropping effort, but the cute Taiwan boy soon politely disappeared back into the crowd at E-Bar in Tanjong Pagar and was never to be found again.

For Carl, his version of love is actually quite simple. It's all about looks and himself.

Carl is dense, and Carl is self-centred.

Good luck finding love, Stanley would say.

Also needing some luck, perhaps, is Nisa my best girl friend.

She has been single since she broke up with her first boyfriend.

Nisa is definitely pretty, intelligent, kindhearted, athletic, capable, and heartily funny.

Maybe that's the problem, Stanley would say.

Men love women who're less of everything: Less intelligent, less athletic, less capable. And definitely less muscles too. Nisa is too intimidating, he once told her in the face.

Thing is, Nisa doesn't care.

She doesn't want to settle.

If love comes, love comes, is her mantra.

Stanley's mantra is similar. The coming part.

He believes more in the coming than the love because Stanley the sex bunny believes orgasm is the key to solving all problems in life.

"In lust, there are assholes. In love, there are assholes. I prefer the literal ones," he once famously said during dinner with some of our straight army friends.

While Stanley can easily find love, given that he is indeed eligible - witty, youthful, good looking and wealthy - he doesn't want to... because he's afraid.

Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of commitments. Afraid of giving too much of his emotions without guaranteed outcomes.

One Night Stands on the other hand is something Stanley can give and can produce guaranteed outcomes.

As we ended our group chat that night, Stanley concludes that he is finding love.

"Ever Lusting Love to be exact," my sex bunny friend said.



---------------------------
Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people