The Dream Theme

These days, Stanley has taken to social media platforms to satisfy all his needs.

And that includes going into strangers' bedrooms to explore.

And not just bedrooms -- their kitchens, living rooms and toilets too.

"What theme should I have for my place?" Stanley randomly asked the group the other day.

Our sex bunny friend has recently decided to buy his own place now that property prices seem to be going down.

And in Stanley my sex bunny friend's world, going down almost always is a good thing.

"But god damn it, I can't do anything now thanks to this virus," Stanley typed in the group chat.

"Just to be sure, by virus, do you mean Covid, or some form of STD. 'Cos, you know, with you, we never know," I typed.

Carl our dense friend, who on normal days cannot keep pace with the world, was rightfully confused.

Stanley with Covid, STD, choosing a theme for a house (which, has he or has he not bought by the way?) was way too much information for him to process.

"What's happening, guys?" he asked genuinely. "What am I missing?"

For the last few weeks, Stanley had been revisiting his idea of a property purchase which was shelved for a few years because he was retrenched. 

But now that he's made a steady comeback, our friend decided to restart his engine.

And since he cannot make physical visits to view properties now, he's zeroing in on a theme for his future home.

Stanley is particularly fascinated with apps like Qanvast and has been keenly visiting Pinterest and IG to look at interior designs.

"There are so many things to decide on -- the style of your house, the theme, the décor, the tiles, the walls, the colour," wrote Stanley, overwhelmed.

Also overwhelmed was Carl.

"What is happening? You bought a place already Stan?"

Stanley responded with an eye-rolling icon instead of a gif 'cos that's just too much work.

"Carl, if your life were represented by just one computer key, it would have to be the question mark key," Stanley typed.

"?" wrote Carl.

I didn't know if Carl's response was a question or an acknowledgement.

"And if my life were to be represented by just one computer key, it would have be the enter key," Stanley pointed out.

"Enter, all ye who are men and handsome All are welcome," said Stanley who had gone off key in the group chat.

After patiently bringing Carl up to speed, Stanley carried on.

He showed us various photos, fascinated that some old resale HDB flats can be turned into wonderful living spaces.

As a home owner who had gone through the entire process of house hunting to interviewing interior designers and deciding on a theme, I gave Stanley my thoughts.

It would always make sense to design a house based on your lifestyle, I said.

So, if cooking is a large part of your life, you'll want to customise your kitchen to your needs -- such as setting aside enough space for baking or cooking big pots of stew.

And if you're big on dinner parties, you'll want to factor that into your home too: A cosy, dining corner that can host, say, dozens at one go.

A friend who is a big comics fan built a feature wall that also acts as a book shelf to show off his collections.

The basic rule is, no matter the theme of your house -- industrial, zen, Scandinavian -- the design of your house has to suit your lifestyle.

Stanley gave my advice some serious thought, and decided that it's vital his place has a corner for reading and viewing the sunset with a glass of whisky when he feels like it, as well as a large area for entertainment.

"Define entertainment," I ask, double-checking again, given Stanley's track record.

"Noun. The action of providing or being provided with amusement or enjoyment," Carl immediately wrote in an attempt to redeem himself and add value to the conversation which he often struggles to be a part of.

"I plan to have cement flooring like yours, Adam," said Stanley.

I'm glad Stanley likes the industrial look of my house (cement screed flooring and a cement screed feature wall, and lots of metal and wooden furniture pieces) because my partner J absolutely hates it.

J thinks my house is so cold and reminds him of his grandfather's warehouse.

"I love it 'cos it's so raw. And you know, in some cases, raw can be very exciting," Stanley said.

He then posts a series of toilet designs, wondering which ones would be best.

"Choose one that you'd be most comfortable with," I said, starting to get a bit tired of all this house design talk.

"Going by your advice, I might design my toilet to like a public urinal 'cos sometimes, you do find gems there," wrote Stanley who followed up with a gif of a man stuffing a popsicle in his mouth with one hand and gesturing a come-here with the other.

But it's way too early to decide on these things, Stanley concluded later.

"I haven't even started viewing properties," he wrote.

"YES! I knew it! I was right!" Carl said, feeling pleased with himself.

It's a small win. Our dense friend is doing his best.

"But one thing is for sure," Stanley said that night.

"When I have my own place, I will definitely have lots and lots of plants. The idea of having them in the house... having something alive and growing them can be so satisfying."

"Unlike a yeast infection."

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Adam's stories are based on real life events and inspired by real people